top of page

Here we go Again...Same old shit again..

I have this cadence stuck in my head for the last couple of weeks. It's been a while since my last blog post for a few reasons. For the obvious being in pain, going to endless appointments, trying to take care of my kids medical needs, and waiting for answers from the doctors as to what the hell is going to happen. I've just been so over it with the pain that I told the civilian surgeon I'd rather have my whole arm amputated at this point then live this way. I am right handed for anyone that doesn't know me personally. I sew, garden, write, type, cook, draw, play video games with my kids, etc etc. So me losing my dominate arm would affect me greatly, just to give a perspective on it all. In the midst of everything, a few weeks ago my morphine pain pump for my back, that was put in November 2019, just stopped working. Doctor knew just from the obvious signs, return of the back pain and withdrawal symptoms. This is a neurosurgeon issue tho and I am fortunate this shithole of a VA doesn't have a neurosurgeon so I am sent to a regular civilian. The docs for the pump have been great but problem is now this added to the shoulder crap?? Like I can't catch a break at all, especially not in 2020.

Back to the shoulder situation. So the ortho surgeon I am seeing tells me that the VA surgeon nicked my bursa sac during surgery with a possible rotator cuff damage as well. The bursa sac is what lubricates the shoulder and helps in smooth movements, mine is like a cement brick which caused my healing process to go awry. He said during healing this bursa turned to cement and then caused adhesive capsulitis, basically "frozen shoulder". When I tell you this is painful, I mean the kind of pain that just is unrelenting and you wish you didn't have to wake up to experience again and again. Therefore I will be having surgery tomorrow the 28th of October to try and fix, or I should say help to relieve, the damage this asshole has created. I am a wreck inside and out. I don't want my shoulder touched but I want to trust this guy that isn't working for the VA and hope it works. They have moved swiftly and quickly in the last week to get my COVID test done and prepare me for surgery tomorrow. I can't say the same for the VA. By year's end I will have had 3 COVID tests, all due to surgery requirements, and 3 surgeries.

Now in regards to my pump that quit working. I seen the head of neurosurgery last week and she will set up my surgery to replace the pump and all, as soon as the shoulder doctor gives clearance after what's happening tomorrow. I figure minimum 4 weeks before the damn pump can be done. I will say this dealing with civilian doctors they try to get things done bing, bang, boom. You need this test...boom done. You need this..boom done. None of this sending consults in circles to everybody and their brother and it end up taking 6 months for an MRI or whatnot.

I wanted to give this update as I have a few followers that have given me a lot of support in doing this blog and to vent a bit as my anxiety over tomorrow is through the roof. I know people will say they'll pray for me, but I'd rather just have wishes of luck or positive vibes sent my way. I don't believe praying does anything at least not to me. I believe that like I believe in the Easter bunny. I realize it's a kind thing to say to people but listen it's not me being rude I just don't believe it. So please bear with my direct straight forwardness in anything that I share. I try not to get into anything involving religion or politics...well unless the politics is VA related, then I guess I do.

I will hope to update with some positive post soon and hope I am not in agonizing pain like in June and days in the hospital, this one is outpatient just like the first one was supposed to have been. I just want a shred of relief because I can't handle the pain anymore and this asshole that made it worse from his expert skills in shoulder repair, should be hung out to dry. That my friends, will never happen. He works for the VA, a government entity, almost impervious to lawsuits.

So until next goes nothing.

114 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

The VA and Medical Alert Systems

I had someone recently reach out to me about sharing something with everyone about medical alert systems for veterans. I personally did not know about this and it's really interesting to find out how


bottom of page