Many years ago, I would get so upset over something and I would say "One of these days...". For years, all of the shit that I have had to go thru with the VA hospital system, and subsequent breakdowns or tirades, I would say "One of these days...just one of these days".
My breaking point turned me from "One of these days..' girl to "Hold this for a minute..Today is one is these days" woman. For so many years I have just held my tongue and yes sir/ma'am...no sir/ma'am, and then it just hit a point, the final straw that broke the camel's back. That was, some know this already, I tore my shoulder from the "YOGA" they have been pushing/peddling for ages. And yes, I was a prior yoga lover in my late 20s to mid 30's, so I wasn't new to it by any means. From the 1st of March til June 18th of this year, I suffered from awful pain after tearing my shoulder during yoga whilst recovering from a unrelated surgery. Yes due to COVID blah, blah, blah. And yes I am over the COVID stuff and over the fact that everyone is so damn sensitive about everything bullshit!!
Anyways, this was my paper(see below pic) for surgery and it all said 'possible' because they didn't know how bad it was until they got in there. So every one of those things on the possible problems...I had done, so a 45 min surgery was like 5 hours + a 3 day hospital stay at the luxurious wing of the VA (HAHA Yea right). That day was the first day I met the supposed "Shoulder Expert Doctor", which in fact was a guy that looked about 80 and hunched over and says to us 4 different times in a span of 10 minutes "You demanded me to do this surgery, don't be surprised if we get in there and nothing is wrong". Then BAM...everything all in one. Was told it 'would've been easier if it were a shoulder repalcement' ...more than 3 times. So wait I didn't know veterans/patients can demand surgery??? But this list of my DEMANDS to the VA hospital Shoulder Surgeon (that probably should have retired years ago), wouldn't have been shoulder surgery. I would have demanded something like I want a tuck here, and here, and oh how about here?
The next time I seen this guy he took the stitches out 2 weeks later. The same surgeon who gave me...me...of all people a lecture about opiates and the dangers. I wanted to punch that old guy right in his face. Like really dude...I have a morphine pump in my body...you think 5 mg of oxycodone is "enough to kill a horse"? Needless to say I am a a point of exploding. I was just boiling when I started this page and now its about pop. 4 weeks ago they sent an ALERT EMERGENCY consult for a nerve block (which only lasts about 12 hrs) By next week, when it was finally scheduled, I will have waited over 6 weeks for an emergency consult for post surgical pain.
I get asked why hasn't ortho followed up? Why did they not tell you that there is something wrong with your rotator cuff? Well I have to send you here and they will schedule etc etc. I just sat there like WTF?! I have tried to keep my mouth shut and not complain while in reality I am curled on the bed or floor in tears. In tears because my kids have to see me in this state of being. I am so over hearing about opiates for hours and hours and pamphlets...blah ....blah. I don't care. Maybe allow veterans a medical marijuana card?? Well they won't because the VA is a federal entity so until it is accepted federally we can not possess a card? We have to feel like criminals for any pain relief and have endless same questions to justify what the scans already show. I am so done. They don't want to give you opiates and can't have a medical marijuana card.....oh you have new BigParma RX #0000! Oh you want me to be a guinea pig for your new drug?? And oh I should feel so important that as a veteran we got to try things such as; Voltaren gel (topical) aka diclofenac (-oral) , and it supposed to cure chronic pain?...
Well it sucks folks!!! It's pure crap and we just seen it over the counter st Sams Club the other day. DONT WASTE YOURE MONEY!
I left his office today with an appt for an injection that is a total "Psst hey just play along and do what I say" type deal. And then The Ortho secretaries say Oh there's no appointments til November.....I flat out lost it. Seriously I've been patient.
My boyfriend its the best guy ever. He is a vet as well and we go to each other's appt and then with COVID they said no visitors, so now he pushes me in a wheelchair cuz there's no nurses willing to push vets around the hospital...voila! He is there to calm me when I want to break someone's face. So he does that caalm down signal and I am like "lets just go to PT". And then magically the secretary gets a 9:30Am appt this Wednesday the 2nd? YEA...RIGHT
So I guess its a wait and see what happens on Wednesday. I will say it'll be a whole lot of nothing happening, just more of the same sending people around in circles for months.
I would love to think something actually happens and I can have some relief finally. And they wonder why veterans commit suicide/give up.........To Be CONTINUED.